A Hard Life Lesson
Setting Clear Boundaries
The kids had a blast capturing toads before we left the campground last weekend. I was happy they were entertained while we tried to clean up the trailer and get the car packed.
In no uncertain terms did I say, numerous times, “We will have a freedom celebration and let them go before we leave. WE ARE NOT KEEPING ANY OF THEM.”
My son asked repeatedly why we couldn’t keep them — he really wanted one for a pet.
So, I reiterated (with extreme patience, of course) that they would not survive the 3-hour car ride and that we had no place to put them at home. It wouldn’t be kind to keep them.
I thought I was pretty clear.
But then, I think my instructions to wash hands after going to the bathroom, to use a napkin instead of a sleeve and to not burp are rather clear as well.
Apparently, we have some communication issues.
We had our freedom celebration, said good-bye to the toads and got on the road. All was well.
Until we got home.
Suddenly, that boy was very onry and somewhat distraught. He started commenting about wanting to keep the toads again.
I chalked it up to fatigue.
Because we had company, my oldest daughter was sharing a room with her brother that night.
Shortly after being put to bed, she suddenly appeared in the doorway of the office and very adamantly declared, “He kept one of toads – -now it’s DEAD — and on his dresser… and I am NOT sleeping in his room!”
Because I was on the phone with my mom, trying to enjoy our weekly conversation, my husband went upstairs to check things out. He promptly returned holding a very stiff and very dry looking toad.
LOVELY.
A Painful Lesson
His first response was, “I’m going to keep it — so that when I need to show the kids that their actions can have negative consequences, I’ll have a great visual aide.”
I rather quickly disagreed…with the tactic…and with the idea of keeping a dead, and dried up toad within the walls of our home. GROSS.
Soon after, however, his dad heart softened a bit.
(Mind you, I was still trying to carry on a conversation with my mom during all of this chaos. I’m sure my parents can’t wait to come and visit us in two weeks! Just listening to the things that go on is crazy enough…but to actually experience a few days with us — WATCH OUT!)
I’m thinking the change of heart had something to do with the uncontrollable sobs coming from a very tenderhearted and remorseful 7-year-old boy’s room.
That little boy was heartbroken — and fully aware of the fact that his decision to ignore our instructions led to the demise of his beloved toad. I’m not sure when he realized that no breath was coming from the creature, but it was somewhere near the time we arrived home.
Thus, the incredibly bad mood.
So, rather than a lecture and reprimand….a discussion about decisions, listening to parents, following directions and making safe choices ensued.
All while planning a burial and memorial service for the toad in the backyard.
They say natural consequences are the best teachers.
I’m just hoping some good learning took place as a result.
But, just like the toad, I won’t be holding my breath.
